I could scream. Or stab someone. Just ran into the maintenance guy for my building who was having a smoke outside the dive bar next door with one of his colleagues who works high up in the letting agency. I told them the sad story of being forced to move two months early because they are forcing me to sign a long lease, and she said, "WHAT?! That's ridiculous - this time of year it's no harder to rent a place in February than December. Call me and I'll sort it out."
So yeah, great, except I already got the keys off the sublet and sold half my furniture on Craiglist (other half to go soon, I hope! Rock-bottom prices!) Unbelievable. I KNEW if I could just get ahold of the right person it would all be sorted out, but of course if nobody answers the phone it's hard to get the right person... gah.
Anyway, can't back out on the sublet now (super bad karma) so I guess I'm still moving. GRRRRRR.
In other news, met my second mentee today for coffee. They both really seem to appreciate my perspective, which is kind of fun since it's mostly ignored at work. Had a lovely chat about pros and cons and decisions and she said several times that it really helped her. (Trying to decide whether to half-heartedly do a Ph.D. or stay at Masters level and get a job in public health). So that was pleasant.
Birthday tomorrow. Stephanie from work has really stepped up since I am not capable of planning anything right now, and has arranged a three-part celebration: 1). get together and write research statements for job-applying (has to be done!) 2). pedicure and 3). Dinner at the amazing tapas place in New Haven. Cannot express how much I appreciate her doing all the heavy lifting for this and making a fuss over me for the day. She is amazing - hope we don't lose touch after the postdoc. A couple weeks ago we went to the Yale Cabaret (organized by her) which was also super fun - it was actors and foley artists doing old radio scripts from the '50s on-stage, complete with sound effects. Totally different and excellent fun.
Oh, and got my grant in. After much buffeting by the business office. UGH. The budget has finally passed muster and it has been submitted. Blah. Also called the mental health people for Yale and am gonna take my six free sessions of counselling, because I really don't think I'm managing so well right now.
Friday, 15 November 2013
Tuesday, 12 November 2013
Ugh. Not doing well again this week. I sort of wish I could do this wedding-planning thing like a normal person - i.e., NOT while trying to coordinate two moves (one overseas) and while waiting with bated breath to see if my visa will come through - and maybe with some family to go shopping with or something.
That said, I did get a confirmation that the visa paperwork arrived to Sheffield (everyone else who is NOT trying to get married gets to send theirs to NYC - heck, I probably could have dropped it off there, but noooooo) and then got an email early this week saying they needed some extra things from Del - apparently the six months of paystubs was not enough: they also needed BANK STATEMENTS showing the six months of salary arriving in his account! Anyway, luckily that was easy enough. Pretty sure there was a page or Appendix somewhere online saying I should have sent that stuff in the first place. I just about drove myself crazy for two weeks trolling through that maze of a government website trying to make sure I had every single thing in order, and apparently still managed to miss something. (I literally did spend two weeks working on that thing, plus took a day off to go to NYC to get my fingerprints taken, and another five days nagging Del for things - and then at the last minute I discovered a sentence in tiny print indicating I had missed what turned out to be another giant Appendix to be filled out and attached, along with extra copies of various other documents!)
Getting the thing to Sheffield was a story in itself too. I took it to FedEx, where I discovered they required I go BACK to the office and print out my own shipping labels. FedEx office dude "kindly" made me an account though, to make it easier to print. So, went back to office (via home for a cup of tea and cake because this stuff is STRESSFUL - that's my passport in that package!) and tried logging into this account. No luck. Phoned New Haven FedEx guy, he couldn't help and made me phone the helpline. Helpline girl spent 45 MINUTES trying to figure out what went wrong before discovering original FedEx guy put some random address on the account (she wouldn't tell me WHAT address) and therefore nothing was matching my actual address so I couldn't log in. Still couldn't fix it though. And couldn't make a new one because my info was attached to the original screwy one.
In the end I gave up, paid $300 for expedited processing of the visa to make up for lost time, and tried again the next morning when the FedEx website miraculously worked. So then I had to truck the whole thing back up to Whitney Ave to the FedEx office because I wasn't going to leave my precious passport in a postbox. I did, however, inadvertently get Original FedEx Guy in big trouble with his boss (turns out they are not actually allowed to make customers accounts in-store - IN CASE THEY GET THE INFO WRONG! Go figure).
Anyway, at least the $300 seems to have worked. Sounds like the Sheffield office is on the case.
In other news, supervisor did not tell me you have to tell the Business Office WELL in advance every time you apply for a grant, so now the Business Office hates me. Grant due on Friday. They heard about it last Thursday, because that was when I heard about this rule.... yeah. Cue many, many shouty and/or snippy emails sent in my direction.
(We aren't mentioning the last grant I applied for, before I learned about this rule!)
What else... invitations draft is done, looking into printing options in various countries. Caterer is booked. Photographer is not. Dress is ordered off EBay- have my doubts, but it was mega-cheap for a giant silk dress, so everyone cross your fingers. All of this is moot if I can't get my visa. Applied for a job at Oxford on Monday only to find out that while the job ad had a deadline of Monday, the application website had a deadline of the previous Friday. Cue much frantic emailing of screenshots to the Oxford job-website people to convince them to let me upload my CV (everything else was done). Will they actually put my application through? Who knows?
Oh, and ran my first kiddo with coprolalia this week. That was entertaining. I had been working with TS kiddos for a year before I ran into a case, which is why it always annoys me/takes me aback when I see moronic jokes that imply TS just means swearing a lot. In reality, the incidence is about 8-10% of cases. No idea why public perception is so off, but I get weirdly upset about this issue. I think it's hanging out with so many people with TS and those related to them, including parents who are scared to mention the diagnosis to their families because of that bizarre coprolalia-related stigma. Not cool, man.
(Other interesting things about Tourettes: many cases resolve by age 18, probably as the brain's inhibitory control mechanisms develop; and it is the comorbid disorders like ADHD and OCD that are often associated with TS that cause the most trouble/problems with quality of life).
Anyway... yup, so pretty stressed out this week, not doing well with deadlines or executive function, and REALLY not able to make any more decisions or plans until I calm down. That said, still have to move across town at the end of December... somehow. Gah.
That said, I did get a confirmation that the visa paperwork arrived to Sheffield (everyone else who is NOT trying to get married gets to send theirs to NYC - heck, I probably could have dropped it off there, but noooooo) and then got an email early this week saying they needed some extra things from Del - apparently the six months of paystubs was not enough: they also needed BANK STATEMENTS showing the six months of salary arriving in his account! Anyway, luckily that was easy enough. Pretty sure there was a page or Appendix somewhere online saying I should have sent that stuff in the first place. I just about drove myself crazy for two weeks trolling through that maze of a government website trying to make sure I had every single thing in order, and apparently still managed to miss something. (I literally did spend two weeks working on that thing, plus took a day off to go to NYC to get my fingerprints taken, and another five days nagging Del for things - and then at the last minute I discovered a sentence in tiny print indicating I had missed what turned out to be another giant Appendix to be filled out and attached, along with extra copies of various other documents!)
Getting the thing to Sheffield was a story in itself too. I took it to FedEx, where I discovered they required I go BACK to the office and print out my own shipping labels. FedEx office dude "kindly" made me an account though, to make it easier to print. So, went back to office (via home for a cup of tea and cake because this stuff is STRESSFUL - that's my passport in that package!) and tried logging into this account. No luck. Phoned New Haven FedEx guy, he couldn't help and made me phone the helpline. Helpline girl spent 45 MINUTES trying to figure out what went wrong before discovering original FedEx guy put some random address on the account (she wouldn't tell me WHAT address) and therefore nothing was matching my actual address so I couldn't log in. Still couldn't fix it though. And couldn't make a new one because my info was attached to the original screwy one.
In the end I gave up, paid $300 for expedited processing of the visa to make up for lost time, and tried again the next morning when the FedEx website miraculously worked. So then I had to truck the whole thing back up to Whitney Ave to the FedEx office because I wasn't going to leave my precious passport in a postbox. I did, however, inadvertently get Original FedEx Guy in big trouble with his boss (turns out they are not actually allowed to make customers accounts in-store - IN CASE THEY GET THE INFO WRONG! Go figure).
Anyway, at least the $300 seems to have worked. Sounds like the Sheffield office is on the case.
In other news, supervisor did not tell me you have to tell the Business Office WELL in advance every time you apply for a grant, so now the Business Office hates me. Grant due on Friday. They heard about it last Thursday, because that was when I heard about this rule.... yeah. Cue many, many shouty and/or snippy emails sent in my direction.
(We aren't mentioning the last grant I applied for, before I learned about this rule!)
What else... invitations draft is done, looking into printing options in various countries. Caterer is booked. Photographer is not. Dress is ordered off EBay- have my doubts, but it was mega-cheap for a giant silk dress, so everyone cross your fingers. All of this is moot if I can't get my visa. Applied for a job at Oxford on Monday only to find out that while the job ad had a deadline of Monday, the application website had a deadline of the previous Friday. Cue much frantic emailing of screenshots to the Oxford job-website people to convince them to let me upload my CV (everything else was done). Will they actually put my application through? Who knows?
Oh, and ran my first kiddo with coprolalia this week. That was entertaining. I had been working with TS kiddos for a year before I ran into a case, which is why it always annoys me/takes me aback when I see moronic jokes that imply TS just means swearing a lot. In reality, the incidence is about 8-10% of cases. No idea why public perception is so off, but I get weirdly upset about this issue. I think it's hanging out with so many people with TS and those related to them, including parents who are scared to mention the diagnosis to their families because of that bizarre coprolalia-related stigma. Not cool, man.
(Other interesting things about Tourettes: many cases resolve by age 18, probably as the brain's inhibitory control mechanisms develop; and it is the comorbid disorders like ADHD and OCD that are often associated with TS that cause the most trouble/problems with quality of life).
Anyway... yup, so pretty stressed out this week, not doing well with deadlines or executive function, and REALLY not able to make any more decisions or plans until I calm down. That said, still have to move across town at the end of December... somehow. Gah.
Sunday, 27 October 2013
Stress Management (probably not recommended by therapists)
I have decided to leverage the power of social comparison to manage stress.
Therefore, I am alternately reading the blogs of a). people who appear to have the most boring lives imaginable and never really seem to DO anything (interestingly this does not stop them from writing about it anyway) and b). people who had something really terrible happen unexpectedly.
I even found one with both elements - a saccharine and cliche-filled few years of blogging from a young wife and mother, followed by a total crisis when her 31-year-old husband dropped dead unexpectedly. (Interestingly, her writing got much better after the latter event - it got right rid of all the cliches and the saccharine).
This has the result of putting my worries totally into perspective: it has the dual effect of reminding me that things might be stressful, but at least there are interesting things going on; and that I better enjoy it because actually overall things are pretty great and you never know what is coming down the road. Something terrible could happen at any moment, and has totally happened to lots of people, which really puts not being able to travel for Christmas (should my visa not come through in time) in perspective.
This is working great so far.
Other, more healthy ways to manage stress include social support (had a nice chat with Judith today), the gym and crocheting like a mad thing. Always very soothing. This will all work out somehow, presumably... and at least I'm doing things and nobody has discovered an undiagnosed heart problem!
Therefore, I am alternately reading the blogs of a). people who appear to have the most boring lives imaginable and never really seem to DO anything (interestingly this does not stop them from writing about it anyway) and b). people who had something really terrible happen unexpectedly.
I even found one with both elements - a saccharine and cliche-filled few years of blogging from a young wife and mother, followed by a total crisis when her 31-year-old husband dropped dead unexpectedly. (Interestingly, her writing got much better after the latter event - it got right rid of all the cliches and the saccharine).
This has the result of putting my worries totally into perspective: it has the dual effect of reminding me that things might be stressful, but at least there are interesting things going on; and that I better enjoy it because actually overall things are pretty great and you never know what is coming down the road. Something terrible could happen at any moment, and has totally happened to lots of people, which really puts not being able to travel for Christmas (should my visa not come through in time) in perspective.
This is working great so far.
Other, more healthy ways to manage stress include social support (had a nice chat with Judith today), the gym and crocheting like a mad thing. Always very soothing. This will all work out somehow, presumably... and at least I'm doing things and nobody has discovered an undiagnosed heart problem!
Friday, 25 October 2013
I don't feel sorry for the stressful lives of the people in Brides magazine
I read part of a "Brides" magazine at the dentist office today. Apparently I should be worrying about shaping eyebrows and choosing a lipstick rather than about finding a place to live and getting a visa. Sigh.
(Also I should have started my fitness regime about three months ago).
Things I am actually worried about:
- if I apply for the visa now, will I get my passport back in time for Christmas?
- what if I beg?
- will the visa thing work out ok? What the heck am I gonna do if I can't stay in the UK with Del?
- is Pike going to give me back my damage deposit?
- how am I going to get rid of enough stuff to make moving on Dec 1st a reasonable idea?
- will I get proper credit for ANY of the papers I'm working on? (going to try and have this discussion next week so that should be fun)
- what the heck am I gonna wear for this wedding then?
- and a million trillion other tiny (and huge - i.e. photography and invitations) wedding details
Oh yeah, and there's the small matter of making a giant life change next year (bigger than usual, I mean) and being unemployed as well.
However, things are moving forward on the "place to live" front. Hand-delivered my notice to landlords today and made them sign and date it, so no one can claim I didn't give proper notice. I went to see a place earlier this week - it is the studio apt of a deeply socially-awkward and extremely sweet French guy called Alex, who regularly spends three months in New Haven and then three in Paris. Almost positive I can have the place from Dec 1st - Feb, assuming he doesn't give it to the girl with the two cats (landlady is not big on cats apparently, so have a feeling I am safe there). He was super conscientious and told me about the dog that lives upstairs and walks around, and the fridge that uses electricity too fast if you turn it up. If those are the main problems, I think I am good.
It's far away from work but Google Maps reckons only a 45-min walk, and it IS on the shuttle line. And I wouldn't have to share with anyone. Plus Alex might want my bed (might barter that one for Feb rent or something). If I can't have it, I want someone nice to have it!
Ooh, on the plus side though I'm on my last physio appt. My knee is so much better it's unbelievable. I can do almost anything without pain - it just twinges if I sit on my knees at the wrong angle (bad habit). I can even run! Physio says come back in two weeks and they will officially graduate me (or whatever the heck they do). They have been kicking my butt every week, which I will miss in a way (like free personal trainers!) but SO happy not to need them any more.
(Also I should have started my fitness regime about three months ago).
Things I am actually worried about:
- if I apply for the visa now, will I get my passport back in time for Christmas?
- what if I beg?
- will the visa thing work out ok? What the heck am I gonna do if I can't stay in the UK with Del?
- is Pike going to give me back my damage deposit?
- how am I going to get rid of enough stuff to make moving on Dec 1st a reasonable idea?
- will I get proper credit for ANY of the papers I'm working on? (going to try and have this discussion next week so that should be fun)
- what the heck am I gonna wear for this wedding then?
- and a million trillion other tiny (and huge - i.e. photography and invitations) wedding details
Oh yeah, and there's the small matter of making a giant life change next year (bigger than usual, I mean) and being unemployed as well.
However, things are moving forward on the "place to live" front. Hand-delivered my notice to landlords today and made them sign and date it, so no one can claim I didn't give proper notice. I went to see a place earlier this week - it is the studio apt of a deeply socially-awkward and extremely sweet French guy called Alex, who regularly spends three months in New Haven and then three in Paris. Almost positive I can have the place from Dec 1st - Feb, assuming he doesn't give it to the girl with the two cats (landlady is not big on cats apparently, so have a feeling I am safe there). He was super conscientious and told me about the dog that lives upstairs and walks around, and the fridge that uses electricity too fast if you turn it up. If those are the main problems, I think I am good.
It's far away from work but Google Maps reckons only a 45-min walk, and it IS on the shuttle line. And I wouldn't have to share with anyone. Plus Alex might want my bed (might barter that one for Feb rent or something). If I can't have it, I want someone nice to have it!
Ooh, on the plus side though I'm on my last physio appt. My knee is so much better it's unbelievable. I can do almost anything without pain - it just twinges if I sit on my knees at the wrong angle (bad habit). I can even run! Physio says come back in two weeks and they will officially graduate me (or whatever the heck they do). They have been kicking my butt every week, which I will miss in a way (like free personal trainers!) but SO happy not to need them any more.
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
Merely psychosomatic... that boy needs therapy!
Wow, mom is right. Having a blog makes it MUCH easier to try and track down EVERYWHERE YOU'VE BEEN IN THE WORLD for the past ten years for a visa application.
Still not fun, though.
However, I have come to the conclusion that I should post more often.
Finally heard back from landlords. I sent an email to every address I could find on the webpage and someone FINALLY called me back. That is literally the first time that has happened since I first moved in. Usually no one answers the phone, and I leave messages into the void. Or no one replies to email, no matter how grouchy/carefully worded.
Anyway, the dude I talked to says he will only give me a lease till the end of May, June or July. Then I can find my own sublettor. "We can't leave a place in a prime location like that empty, and it is too much risk for us to then have to find someone else". Oh, okay then, please do let me take the risk instead, and charge me extra rent for it! Sounds great!
ummmm, no.
I haven't emailed them though, because I am having weird symptoms and I'm stressed I have tetanus. I know I almost certainly don't have tetanus, but I wish my neck and jaw muscles weren't so tight and my butt muscles would stop randomly twitching. It's almost certainly a combo of stress and psychosomatic symptoms, but still... no fun.
Anyway, I drafted an email but am loathe to send it because not sure what they will come back with. Technically lease ended on Monday. I've started the process of getting the sublet I looked at on Friday (for December 1st) but am looking at another tomorrow night. Guy from the first place sendtme a weird email explaining that there are tons of other people who want the place, so wouldn't feel too guilty about ditching on that as long as there's still lots of time till December for him to find someone else. Second place is miles away up in East Rock so much less convenient, but it's a studio apt, so no random Russian housemate. We shall see. This will all work out okay.... right???
Still not fun, though.
However, I have come to the conclusion that I should post more often.
Finally heard back from landlords. I sent an email to every address I could find on the webpage and someone FINALLY called me back. That is literally the first time that has happened since I first moved in. Usually no one answers the phone, and I leave messages into the void. Or no one replies to email, no matter how grouchy/carefully worded.
Anyway, the dude I talked to says he will only give me a lease till the end of May, June or July. Then I can find my own sublettor. "We can't leave a place in a prime location like that empty, and it is too much risk for us to then have to find someone else". Oh, okay then, please do let me take the risk instead, and charge me extra rent for it! Sounds great!
ummmm, no.
I haven't emailed them though, because I am having weird symptoms and I'm stressed I have tetanus. I know I almost certainly don't have tetanus, but I wish my neck and jaw muscles weren't so tight and my butt muscles would stop randomly twitching. It's almost certainly a combo of stress and psychosomatic symptoms, but still... no fun.
Anyway, I drafted an email but am loathe to send it because not sure what they will come back with. Technically lease ended on Monday. I've started the process of getting the sublet I looked at on Friday (for December 1st) but am looking at another tomorrow night. Guy from the first place sendtme a weird email explaining that there are tons of other people who want the place, so wouldn't feel too guilty about ditching on that as long as there's still lots of time till December for him to find someone else. Second place is miles away up in East Rock so much less convenient, but it's a studio apt, so no random Russian housemate. We shall see. This will all work out okay.... right???
Saturday, 19 October 2013
Forgot the other thing that happened this week, which was cutting my leg open on a metal fire hose connector thing sticking out from the wall at Beinecke Plaza and bleeding all over everything, then crashing the new Yale President's inauguration to find a bathroom to clean it up. Luckily the bathroom in question had a lovely first aid kit and I had Rebecca with me (physicians come in handy), but it was fairly unpleasant. Then the next day Rebecca made me go get a tetanus shot and that took up half of the day. On the plus side, I'm protected from diptheria and whooping cough for ten years as a side effect...
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